I've been reading this book lately called "How to Work with Complicated People" by Ryan Leak, and honestly, it's been messing with my head in the best way possible. Ryan's a bestselling authors and transformational speaker who works with Fortune 100 companies and professional sports teams, helping people figure out how to collaborate with even the most challenging personalities. You know how we all have that one person at work or in our lives who just makes everything... complicated? Well, Ryan had this insight that stopped me in my tracks.
Here's the thing that hit me like a brick wall: if I think someone else is complicated, then I'm probably complicated for someone else too. We all have our crazy. We all are off in our own ways. And that realization? It was both humbling and incredibly freeing.
For most of my life, I've been this person who tried to have it all together. I said yes to everything because I wanted to be the superhero for everyone around me. I was like a sprinkler system - watering everyone else's grass while my own soil was drying up underneath. I thought if I could just be perfect enough, helpful enough, available enough, then maybe I'd finally feel like I was enough.
But here's what I'm learning: our imperfections don't stop us from living. They tell us that we're alive.
Our imperfections don't say we should stop going after our dreams or goals. They show us we need help along the way. They keep us open to God. They keep us open to each other. Because if we try to do life alone, it'll never work. There's no such thing as life by ourselves.
I think somewhere along the way, I picked up this lie that I had to be flawless to be valuable. That my worth was tied to my ability to never mess up, never disappoint anyone, never show weakness. But carrying that burden was exhausting. It was like trying to hold up the sky with my bare hands.
The permission to not be perfect? That's been life-changing. Not permission to be careless or stop trying to grow, but permission to be human. To mess up and still be loved. To have bad days and still have value. To be complicated and still be worthy of grace.
You know what's beautiful about this? Grace isn't something we earn by being perfect. Grace is what we receive precisely because we're not. And if we need grace for our own mess, then maybe - just maybe - we can extend that same grace to the complicated people in our lives.
Maybe that difficult coworker is fighting battles we know nothing about. Maybe that family member who pushes all our buttons is struggling with their own stuff. Maybe we're all just doing the best we can with what we have right now, and that's actually enough.
Here's what I want you to hear today: we're all messy, we're all difficult sometimes, and we're all worthy of grace. Every single day, as long as we have breath in our lungs, we get to show up differently. We get to choose growth over perfection, progress over performance, becoming over being.
Your journey isn't supposed to look like anyone else's. Your timeline doesn't have to match anyone else's. Your struggles don't disqualify you from your purpose - they're actually preparing you for it.
So maybe today, instead of trying to fix ourselves or fix everyone around us, we can just be present. Present to our own process. Present to other people's journeys. Present to the beautiful, messy, complicated truth that we're all just figuring it out as we go.
And that's not just okay - that's exactly how it's supposed to be.
Keep becoming,
Joel
P.S. - What's one way you can show yourself grace this week? I'd love to hear from you. Hit reply and let me know.
P.P.S. - Know someone who might need to hear this today? Someone who's been hard on themselves or struggling with their own complicated stuff? Feel free to forward this their way. We're all just figuring it out together.
