Exhaustion isn’t always a sign you’re failing. Sometimes it’s a sign you’re finally paying attention.
I was talking with my friend Spence, who hosts the Daily Bar Podcast, about how tired everyone seems right now, myself included. Not sleepy tired. Soul tired.
Then he said something that made me stop and think.
“Exhaustion is a crossroads where we determine who we are and what matters.”
It wasn’t a new idea. I’ve heard versions of it before. But this time it carried more weight. Maybe because of the season I’m in. Maybe because I was finally ready to hear it.
Most of us treat exhaustion like a weakness. Something to hide, push through, or fix with one more cup of coffee. Okay, maybe two. We apologize for it. Someone asks how we’re doing, and we say “busy” like it’s a badge we earned. We feel guilty about it. We act like being tired means we’re not cut out for the life we’re living.
But sometimes things are exhausting because they are. A new role. Little kids. A hard season. Trying to move into a new job. Caring for someone you love. Building something that matters.
Here’s what I’m realizing. You’re not weak for feeling the weight. You’re human. And you’re not the only one carrying it.
The research backs this up. Christina Maslach, who has spent decades studying burnout, found that it isn’t just about working too much. One of the biggest drivers is a mismatch between what you value and how you’re actually spending your life.
That’s the gift of exhaustion. It tells you the truth when you won’t.
It shows you where you’ve been carrying what isn’t yours. Where you’ve said yes to everything and no to yourself. Where the life you’re living has drifted from the one you actually wanted.
So before you push past it, pay attention to a few things.
Notice the difference between good tired and empty tired. Good tired is the ache after a long day doing something that matters. Empty tired is when you’ve given everything and have nothing to show for it inside. Same body. Very different message.
Notice what you dread. The meeting, the phone call, the obligation you keep putting off. Dread is usually pointing at something.
Notice where fear is saying yes for you. Some of what’s draining you isn’t your assignment. You picked it up because you were afraid of disappointing someone.
And notice what fills you back up. If you can’t remember the last time you did it, that’s information too.
Your One Step this week:
Don’t push past it. Stop at the crossroads and ask yourself three questions.
What is this exhaustion telling me? What am I carrying that isn’t mine? What actually matters to me right now?
Write down your answers, even if they’re messy. Then choose one thing to set down this week. Just one.
Give yourself permission to be tired. Then let the tiredness teach you something.
We’re in this together. I’ll see you next week, and we’ll take the next step together.
Let’s go!
Joel
P.S. In Begin Where You Are, I wrote that the goal isn’t to squeeze more in. It’s to build a life you don’t need to recover from. I’m still learning that one too. If you haven’t read it yet, you can find it HERE.
